Four days down

June 8, 2010 at 7:47 pm 2 comments

Four days in and I am officially ready for this to all be over. Tonight’s injections just plain hurt, even the go.nal-f which has not hurt the last few nights burned like the meno.pur tonight. I’m already feeling the bloat something fierce.

I’m looking forward to tomorrow’s ultrasound appointment so I can get a look at what exactly is going on in there. With my fears of overstimulation at hand, the fact that four days into this cycle I already feel like I did at the end of my last IVF worries me. Or maybe it shouldn’t, since the last one didn’t work. My ovaries just ache, and I can’t keep my mind off it.

The other downside?  My last IVF was in the fall, and I was able to hide underneath baggy sweaters. This one is in June, and my summer wardrobe is a little more form fitting – especially since I was 10 lbs lighter last summer.

Even though this is the cycle of hope and happiness, I am finding it difficult to be hopeful. I invested a lot of hope in our last IVF and it didn’t work. I invested a lot of hope in our last IUI and it didn’t work. I’ve been trying to get pregnant for four years and have never been successful. Nothing I have tried has worked. Why should I believe that this should be any different? In the back of my head I know there is a chance. But I think I’m headed toward this cycle with low expectations as a way of self-preservation.

I simply must find a way to distract myself. It’s 8:45 and there had better be something trashy and mindless on TV.


Entry filed under: IVF #2 - the cycle of hope and happiness.

Underway 5 down, 6 to go – updated

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Pundelina  |  June 9, 2010 at 5:49 am

    Oooh, my gonal-f burned today. Such a biatch when that happens. Good luck at the ultrasound tomorrow – I’ll be lurking for good news!

  • 2. Lea  |  June 9, 2010 at 6:30 pm

    Haven’t had a chance to comment lately, but wanted you to know that I’m thinking of you! Best of luck at your ultrasound. Good thoughts coming your way…


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After 5 IUIs, 2 IVFs, and the diagnosis of diminished ovarian reserve at the ripe old age of 29, I am now looking for information on embryo donation and adoption. I'm taking a break from blogging but will return when our path out of the world of IF becomes more clear.

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