And once more from the beginning…

May 10, 2010 at 2:31 pm 3 comments

I started a post a few weeks ago, and just deleted the contents. Things have changed a lot since April 22, and drastically in the last 30 minutes.

After some wallowing, super husband and I decided to give IVF another go, with the new RE in town. I went in for a consult about 2 weeks ago and got great vibes from the office and staff. They wanted to do an AMH test, so I relinquished my veins as a final test of their blood draw ability.

I didn’t hear anything from them, so when I realized that my cycle would probably start this weekend while we were out of town, I called their IVF scheduler for a prescription for some birth control pills, as well as to see if I could get my AMH results.

And she had the results, and they were not pretty. They like to see between .7 on the low end and 3.4 on the high end. My AMH?  .2

Yah. That’s point two. As in less then half the bottom number. It stopped the IVF coordinator in her tracks. She stopped talking about scheduling and said that I would need to make an appointment with the doctor and find out if he would still be willing to try IVF with me.

So the baby factory has shut its doors it seems. I’m 29 and officially barren.

Believe it or not, this news is far less devistating to me then the failed IVF cycle of last summer. To close this chapter of my life would be a welcome change.

I have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow to talk about our options. If he seems hesitant at all about doing IVF I’m asking about embryo adoption or egg donation.

Ironically, we spent the weekend in infertile-hell. The local weekend music festival that we go to twice a year (the non-profit I work for has an interactive music display there) was this weekend. And the music display was moved from a lovely little barn to the NEW! and EXPANDED! KIDS AREA!  Yah. The adult centric but kid friendly festival had suddenly made a dramatic shift to kid centric but adult friendly. Super husband and I both got to stare what we want but can’t have in the face, literally, for two days.

The experience actually had us both warming up to the idea of a non-bio child, just so we could be parents and be in a new place with this little conception disaster. So the news that I was officially barren was perhaps a little easier to take.

Also, super husband was fired by a client on Friday. Well, not fired so much as a woman he used to work with snuck in and offered the same services at less money. So we’ve lost 1/3 of our income overnight. And let’s not forget about mother’s day on Sunday. Yah, it’s just been a shitstorm of fun around these parts!


Entry filed under: IVF #1, life, woe is me.

Well that ship has sailed One more trip on the roller coaster

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Kate (Bee In The Bonnet)  |  May 10, 2010 at 4:08 pm

    I’m glad that the news isn’t as devastating for you as last year’s IVF, but I’m really sorry for you all the same that this door is seemingly closing. I seem to say it often, but it’s just not fair and I hate that you are going through this. I’m really hoping that the RE has good news for you or can tell you more about egg donation or embryo donation.

    It really sucks that things have been such a shitstorm for you guys– when it rains, it pours… Here’s hoping things get much better very, very soon.

  • 2. Missy  |  May 10, 2010 at 4:31 pm

    Oh, I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry for all this pain. My thoughts are with you as you navigate through this time.

  • 3. Adele  |  May 10, 2010 at 4:41 pm

    I’m sorry:( I do think you have to take even the AMH with a grain of salt. It’s a fairly new test and while they say it doesn’t fluctuate as much as FSH, I’ve heard of several women retesting at very different levels. I also think that the smartest docs take this number into account with two other factors: your age and antral follicle count. But I might be grasping at straws.

    And I also understand what you mean about just wanting to be in a new place. Yes. I surely do.

    Sorry to hear about the sucky new twist to the weekend music festival AND your husband’s contract. It all creates what I would call a perfectly horrible shitstorm:(


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After 5 IUIs, 2 IVFs, and the diagnosis of diminished ovarian reserve at the ripe old age of 29, I am now looking for information on embryo donation and adoption. I'm taking a break from blogging but will return when our path out of the world of IF becomes more clear.

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