one way or another

April 8, 2010 at 2:33 pm 5 comments

It’s another day. I’m feeling better and am trying to remain optimistic. Big thanks to everyone for your support and kind words. Oh I how loathe the two week wait in treatment cycles, and knowing that there are folks out there who understand and are rooting for me is a huge help. Knowing that people have gotten pregnant via IUI after failing IVF is a huge help.

Sometimes I feel symptoms and get excited. Then I have to remind myself that I had an HCG booster on Tuesday and that 6 dpo is too soon to feel anything. Sometimes I don’t feel symptoms and get depressed. Then I have to remind myself that 6 dpo is too soon to feel anything. Never before have I wanted so badly to throw up.

This too shall pass, and nothing that I do now (save for some sort of drinking / smoking / cocaine binge) will change the outcome in any way. It’s out of my hands. I’m not a religious person by any means, but I certainly have found myself saying prayers more then once in the past few days.

I bit the bullet and met baby Charlie. I casually mentioned that it was my dad’s name and it turns out that it is the father’s dad’s name too. So I guess they have a right to it… He was a real sweetie, born 4 weeks early and only weighed 4 lbs.  The neighbors know about our attempts to conceive, and they were very sweet about the whole thing, saying that when we have our baby we can have some of their stuff and being very insistant on the “when.” They don’t know that we’re doing a treatment cycle this month, but I rubbed his belly for good luck.

The song linked above was playing in my car when I went to school this morning. It seemed appropriate.

“One way or another, this darkness got to give. “


Entry filed under: IUI of Love, #s 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5.

Reemergence Trouble with a capital “T” that rhymes with “Pee”

5 Comments Add your own

  • 1. womb for improvement  |  April 8, 2010 at 2:59 pm

    Oh this two week wait is dragging.

    Fingers crossed.

  • 2. Kate (Bee In The Bonnet)  |  April 8, 2010 at 5:39 pm

    See, now, aren’t you glad you weren’t the Kate-Asshole? Glad they’re so kind and mindful of your situation.

    And hoping, hoping, hoping for you through this 2ww…

  • 3. Adele  |  April 8, 2010 at 9:01 pm

    I hate the rate of those two weeks – I don’t think it’s possible for time to move any more slowly. And you’re in the thick of it. Glad you met baby Charlie the First, and glad it was not bad (and glad you mentioned that about the name!). And hoping that Charlie the Second is right behind him.

  • 4. D  |  April 8, 2010 at 10:20 pm

    I came upon this website and was shocked to read just how similar your feelings of this experience are to mine…so many of the emotions you describe, I have felt. Thank you for publishing and sharing during this difficult time for you….

  • 5. babysmiling  |  April 9, 2010 at 9:57 pm

    You can add me to the list of people who succeeded via IUI after failing two IVFs.

    Good luck!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Trackback this post  |  Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed


After 5 IUIs, 2 IVFs, and the diagnosis of diminished ovarian reserve at the ripe old age of 29, I am now looking for information on embryo donation and adoption. I'm taking a break from blogging but will return when our path out of the world of IF becomes more clear.

%d bloggers like this: