Snowed In

December 23, 2009 at 4:36 pm 4 comments

I’ve started dozens of posts in my head lately, but haven’t gotten around to actually writing anything out. The main reason being that I don’t think anyone really wants to hear a reprise of how depressed I have been since our failed IVF… or how my nerve pain is not getting any better despite trips to three different doctors.  And really, once those things get eliminated from the table, what else is there?

A few things I guess… and in my best attempt to focus on the positive I will pretend to have put the cluster fu*k that was this fall aside for now and share all the happy things with you.

I recently ended another 4.0 semester, leaving me to wonder when school is actually going to start getting hard?  I really thought that taking biology and spanish in the same semester would be a deadly combination, but I seem to have come out of the experience ok. Now if biology had actually been taught in the spanish language… there might have been some difficulties…

Acupuncture is going well. I am finally starting to gain some trust with my new fertility specialist lady. I’ve had a really nice BBT chart this month, and a positive OPK to boot, all with nicely timed se.x. But then, I have at least 2 dozen of those charts… so I’m not sure why this one would be any different. My period is due on Christmas day, and we are spending Christmas Eve night at my parents’ house, so I plan to test tomorrow morning in the privacy and comfort of my own home so that I am prepared for the innevitable – unless my temp drops dramatically tomorrow morning. Is the Christmas miracle baby really too much to ask for? It would very likely cure me of my general Grinchlyness forever.

Like most of the eastern US, we were hit with a giant snowstorm on Friday that dropped about 15 inches of snow on my humble little mountain town. Unlike most to the eastern US, 15 inches of snow is nearly unheard of, seeing as how we are in the south. So it pretty thoroughly shut the town down, about 70% of the county lost power for days, and things are only just now starting to reopen. No one here has any idea what to do with the frozen white stuff. The number of people cursing the power company because their groceries spoiled is slightly absurd. I can just see them… “Too bad all this frozen white stuff is preventing us from going to the store to buy some ice so our milk dosn’t spoil!”  I’ve been icing my painful hip every night, and it has been nice to use the snow these last few days. Way better then ice cubes or frozen vegetables!

The snow is causing me to go a little stir-crazy. Our friends are headed to warmer climates like Florida and Brazil and we are tempted to hide in their luggage. We had a tropical vacation planned for this time of year, but decided not to go because we were going to do winter break IVF. Then we couldn’t bring ourselves to do IVF again but didn’t reschedule the vacation because it was too expensive, and we were trying to be responsible with our finances.

It’s a good thing I didn’t know that all this darn snow was going to fall from the sky or I would have said “Screw being responsible! Pass the sunscreen!”

Update 12/26:  My period was right on time, I spent Christmas with a heating pad and a bottle of advil.

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Entry filed under: life.

Don’t want to be anything, where I don’t know when to stop New Post

4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. womb for improvement  |  December 26, 2009 at 4:37 pm

    Bloody periods. Literally.

    I hope you still managed to enjoy Christmas.

    Reply
  • 2. Kate (Bee In The Bonnet)  |  December 29, 2009 at 8:41 pm

    Oh, man. That sucks. (the snow *and* the period coming both I mean). We got out just in time to miss that horrid storm and I’ve been chuckling as the local Texas news anchors cling to any possible threat of ice or snow, loudly and frequently warning us of these potential winter weather events… um, yeah. Let’s not all get our panties in a wad over nothing, people. I’m currently watching the latest “ice storm” drip from the sky, noting that, while cold, it’s not even all that close to freezing. Ice storm, indeed…

    Congrats on your badass semester! I am really convinced that those of us who return to the classroom with a little life under our belts (and first-hand knowledge of how shitty the working world really is) tend to do much better than those who don’t have quite that same experience. All the same, that 4.0 is really very impressive, especially with Bio and Spanish in the same semester– que bueno, chica!

    I am so very sorry at how much of a clusterf*ck your fall has been. It is unfair, indeed. And that you are still injured from the motherf*cking evil PIO shots adds a literal injury to insult. Bullshit. If our IVF had not worked, I wonder whether I would be frozen depressed into inaction, or whether I would be manically, frantically pushing for cycle after cycle until funds ran dry. I don’t know. I don’t envy you to be in that position, and I’m frankly pretty damn pissed at whatever gods may be available at the fact that you find yourself there. It’s just so fucking unfair.

    But before I go too far down the life-is-such-f*cking-unfair-horseshit-sometimes road, I’ll just stop myself as you did and congratulate you on ending it with your fabulous GPA and on surviving the great blizzard of ’09 (especially when so many other of your southern compatriots lost their collective heads…). Good for you. Here’s to hoping that 2010 holds much more of the good, none of the bad, and all the peace and love you deserve.

    Reply
  • 3. Finch  |  December 30, 2009 at 10:37 am

    I just read through your blog. I’m also in the High FSH category and prepping for IVF. I wish you all the best with whatever you decide to do. In the meantime, enjoy all that fantastic snow!

    Reply
  • 4. Mad Hatter  |  December 30, 2009 at 6:15 pm

    So sorry that AF came…And guess what? We DO want to read about and support you through the depression and the nerve pain – that’s what we’re here for, so post away!
    Love,
    Maddy

    Reply

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About

After 5 IUIs, 2 IVFs, and the diagnosis of diminished ovarian reserve at the ripe old age of 29, I am now looking for information on embryo donation and adoption. I'm taking a break from blogging but will return when our path out of the world of IF becomes more clear.

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