2009, woo hoo?

January 6, 2009 at 11:23 am 7 comments

2009 is off to a rip roarin’ start. Yesterday afternoon had me running errands mid day… driving through my college campus with the windows down, my favorite tunes on the radio, enjoying the unseasonable 60 degree weather. I was filled with the thought of possibility… that 2009 would bring us a pregnancy, that going back to school and starting my new job would bring me the chance to start over in life, that our new president elect might bring some good change to the country, or at the very least a fresh start looking at issues with new eyes and perspective.

Then my dad called… and told me that he would no longer be able to help pay for my IF treatment. A call that came only about two hours after we received word that we are now aunt and uncle to a lovely and perfect baby girl. And then my happy little universe imploded on it’s self.

Because without help, there is no way that we can pay for IF treatments on our own. At least not with any kind of regularity.

While that news was shocking and upsetting, more shocking and upsetting was the way my dad handled it. “How long is this thing going to take anyway?” He asked. “I thought that it would have been taken care of by now, it’s been three months.”

It was a conversation that left me feeling so stupid, so naive, and so broken. The other shoe, it has fallen.

I am sill in the two week wait to see if IUI #2 was a success, I’m not filled with optimism though, especially after husband’s difficulties with the speciman cup.

Now I am just waiting to hear the news that the new baby girl in our family? She will be named the name that we planned on naming our daughter someday. Leaving me with the question to pose to you all… when you are having trouble conceiving, do you tell the pregnant members of your family the names you have “on reserve?” Or do you just suck it up if those names get picked?

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Entry filed under: everyone is pregnant, IUI of Love, #s 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5, woe is me.

we made it! Still here…

7 Comments Add your own

  • 1. annacyclopedia  |  January 6, 2009 at 12:34 pm

    Oh, poop. I’m so sorry – it’s not the same situation, but I’ve faced a bunch of delays in my treatment, and I know how painful and frustrating it can be. And I’m really sorry your dad wasn’t more understanding in breaking this news.

    Hang in there, sweetie.

    Reply
  • 2. Beth  |  January 6, 2009 at 12:42 pm

    I’m so sorry- that sounds like something my mother would do. As a result, we’ve gone into some serious debt and kept pretty quiet about IF, which means we’re constantly hit with the “When are you going to start a family” questions. You can’t win, either way. But I chose to hear the insensitive queries rather than trust someone else to appreciate how important this is, regardless of the cost.

    As for the names question- we’re keeping really quiet about the names we’ve selected. We do run the risk that someone else in the family might claim them first, but at least it won’t be because we mentioned our favorites and they got stolen.

    I’m crossing my fingers and hoping that your latest IUI was a smashing success so finances won’t be an issue for you. And, once you’re decidedly pregnant, I think you can lay claim to the name you like best. It’s not “hypothetical” at that point.

    Best wishes, and 2009 really is going to be a GREAT year- for all of us! I can feel it.

    Reply
  • 3. womb for improvement  |  January 6, 2009 at 1:38 pm

    Oh I’m sorry to hear that. But keep positive for the IUI. Take care.

    Reply
  • 4. Lea Finnell  |  January 7, 2009 at 12:29 am

    I’m sorry that your dad was so insensitive. That’s horrible and you didn’t deserve that. Hoping that you won’t need the financial help and IUI#2 is a success! I’m torn on the name thing. I haven’t really settled on names, so I guess I haven’t put too much thought into it.

    P.S. When are you testing? 🙂

    Reply
  • 5. Kate (Bee In The Bonnet)  |  January 9, 2009 at 5:27 pm

    Man, I am so sorry. The start of an awesome year crushed by one rude comment from your dad.

    I am keeping everything crossed that IUI#2 will be the one, and if not that things will work themselves out another way. Even without your dad’s support, 2009 could be your year anyhow.

    As far as names go, I think that’s just yet another cross for us IFers to bear. Claiming names just doesn’t seem right somehow, but neither does sitting by and waiting for your chance to come to claim it. Sad. There just doesn’t seem to be a good way to work that one out.

    Reply
  • 6. Kate (Bee In The Bonnet)  |  January 14, 2009 at 5:17 pm

    Mmm! Raspberries! I just made some fabulous raspberry muffins yesterday. I’ll have to post the recipe soon. They are so GOOD…

    And now, for your letter… I think I’ll choose M for mountains. You live in a mountainous region, and I see lots of your photos in mountainous settings, and I know you like the outdoors even more than I do, so M seems like a good letter to try.

    Reply
  • 7. Mom to be  |  February 25, 2009 at 7:17 am

    Hi there. I felt really bad while reading your post… It’s one thing having to submit our poor bodies to such invading procedures and handling our mood swings becasue of the hormones..but having to worry about the finacial part? That seems just too cruel.
    In Belgium we get it almost for free. An IUI procedure costs us about 80 dollars, IVF about 500, but we can’t do more than 6 of them. I realise how ‘lucky’ I am to benefit from our soical security..

    I am at a point where i don’t believe in IUI anymore. Rightn now I’ve done my last one, after getting the results in about a week from now, we won’t be doing anything for a whol month but relaxing and then in April ‘m starting the IVF procedure.

    You know I feel so bad, that you obviously believe in IUI and I don’t and that you’re struggling to get one..

    It isn’t fair that we need treatment, but it is so much more unfait that in America ynot everyone has access to it becaus of financial reasons…

    Reply

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About

After 5 IUIs, 2 IVFs, and the diagnosis of diminished ovarian reserve at the ripe old age of 29, I am now looking for information on embryo donation and adoption. I'm taking a break from blogging but will return when our path out of the world of IF becomes more clear.

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