my body may be taking a month off but my mind isn’t

December 11, 2008 at 12:22 pm 5 comments

I’m a little over halfway through my month off TTC and I am really ready to get things going again.

At first it was nice… I stopped taking my BBT when the battery died (again!) in my thermometer. That’s two BBT thermometers down now. I’m averaging about one a year. I stopped checking my CM. I didn’t use any OPKs. This is my first month off TTC since this journey began. Back in Summer of 2006, when I was 25. Ahhhh, memories.

(as an aside, i’ve been charting for two years now, and it’s weird to have a record of every time we did the shaggy dance…)

I’ve still been thinking about TTC a lot though, maybe more so then usual since I am in such a transitional time in my life.  I’ve still been keeping up with your blogs though being a bit quiter. Last night my brain took over and I had a vivid pregnancy dream. Only I wasn’t pregnant.

I was in a large bathroom stall which was intruded upon by two very slender and attractive young women dressed in bikinis. They demanded that I relinquish the toilet to them, because they were pregnant and I was not. “We both got pregnant in the first month of trying!” one of them said. Then, “unless you are pregnant too, you have  to leave.”

Even in my dreams I am made to feel like a second class citizen because my body refuses to get knocked up.


Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

A fresh start for 2009 Standing Room Only (aka, No Room at the Inn)

5 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Lea  |  December 11, 2008 at 2:22 pm

    Ugh. That’s a horrible dream! I hope you can get back to TTC soon! I know how much waiting sucks. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

  • 2. Beth  |  December 11, 2008 at 4:19 pm

    December is nearly half over and I know we’ll both have great success in 2009. Waiting is tedious, but even without doing anything, you’re making progress. Happy Holidays!

  • 3. womb for improvement  |  December 13, 2008 at 12:10 pm

    Yup second what Beth says, 2009 has got to be THE year.

  • 4. Kate (Bee In The Bonnet)  |  December 14, 2008 at 4:35 pm

    Oh, I’ve had those kinds of dreams before. They SUCK. And they usually happen when I take a break. It’s like my mind has been focused for so long on the making a baby thing that when I dare to focus elsewhere, the thoughts come flooding back during my REM-cycle or some crap. Un-fucking-fair.

  • 5. Lea  |  December 23, 2008 at 8:01 pm

    Hey! I’m on CD3 today, the first day taking the Femara. I’ve got a headache right now too, and a little jittery. Keep me posted!


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After 5 IUIs, 2 IVFs, and the diagnosis of diminished ovarian reserve at the ripe old age of 29, I am now looking for information on embryo donation and adoption. I'm taking a break from blogging but will return when our path out of the world of IF becomes more clear.

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