A fresh start for 2009

December 1, 2008 at 8:30 am 9 comments

Thanks for all the well wishes and words of encouragement… they do mean a lot. I’ve had similar well wishes from my IRL friends, but deep down they don’t understand the dimension that IF throws in the mix the way you do.

The threats of how I would be fired if I became pregnant were what had been keeping me at that awful job for so long. It was a small company so it didn’t have to adhear to the Family Medical Leave Act.  For years I had been thinking that I would keep the job until I had a baby, then I would go to school full time and return to a new job after a few years with my new education.

Well, this plan is just being carried out without the baby. I’ll be headed to school full time in January. With any luck I’ll find a sweet part time job to help make up to the huge financial deficit that I inflicted on our household. (I made slightly more then super husband, so our income has been slashed by about 60%…) I’ll be covered under the health insurance offered through the college, and if I am fortunate enough to get knocked up? I’ll go on medi.caid!  The state medi.caid program covers the local midwife center, and freestanding birthing centers which my fancy corporate health insurance did not.

A friend of mine told me that it sounded like I had everything figured out. I’m glad things look that way, but really I am scared sh*tless. I know the next few months will be the hardest. The good news?  Everyone seems to be in agreement that now that the stress of evil boss is gone I am sure to get pregnant no problem. (Bah! I as of yet have not enlightened them to the fact that my lack of being pregnant is due more to the fact that I don’t ovulate on my own!)

I also have to take this month off TTC, due to the cyst on ole rightie. If it’s gone next month I’ll be giving Letrozole a spin in place of the Clo.mid. I’ve been able to find very little info on Stirrup Queens about this drug, so if  you have experience with it drop me a comment with a link to your blog.

Ahhh, snow has just started falling… my former co workers are all arriving at the office, and I am enjoying my first official day of freedom. I think December will bring with it a very clean and well organized house!


Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

The letter, part 2 my body may be taking a month off but my mind isn’t

9 Comments Add your own

  • 1. womb for improvement  |  December 1, 2008 at 8:54 am

    You might be scared but you already sound 100% happier which can only be a good thing. Congrats.

  • 2. annacyclopedia  |  December 1, 2008 at 5:06 pm

    Yeah, I wish it was as easy as quitting a stressful job – I’d be starting to ponder #2 by now if that were the case!

    I know it’s scary, but I will wager that a year from now you’ll wonder why it took you so long. Only good can come from leaving situations that are life-taking rather than life-giving.

  • 3. Bree  |  December 2, 2008 at 1:20 pm

    I came to comment on letr.zole via Stirrup Queens. I’ve taken the lowest dose three times. All eight of my cycles have been medicated (I use frozen donor sp.rm and started at the RE’s with monitored IUIs), so I’ve had the opportunity to sample both Clom.d and Fem.ra. Lucky me.

    With Fem.ra, I noticed very few side effects, but also had a moderate-to-low response. I grew one dominant follicle, which led me to question if that was the Fem.ra working or just my own body (since I had regular cycles and ovulation before I started TTC). Nonetheless, the Fem.ra did its’ job, even though I have yet to conceive.

    In contrast, Clom.d has more noticable side effects (headaches, some ovulation pain, serious hot flashes) but produced more follicles at the lowest dose.

    I hear, though, that the main reason to use Fem.ra is the old quality-vs-quantity debate. I’ve switched back to Clom.d (because I want more than one follicle), but can recmmend Fem.ra too.

    Good luck!

  • 4. Charlotte  |  December 2, 2008 at 2:58 pm

    Congratulations! I’m glad you’re leaving that job!

    I’ve taken both letrozole and clomid. Side effects were worse for me with clomid than with letrozole. The side effects I did have with letrozole were ovulation pain (lasting for about a week on the first cycle) and hot flashes. I conceived on my first letrozole cycle, but had a miscarriage. After several months, I took clomid for two cycles, then letrozole for one, then had another selective HSG–turns out my tubes were blocked (again), and the doctor was able to clean them out (again). I’m currently pregnant (conceived on letrozole the first full cycle after the HSG). I hope that’s helpful!

  • 5. Miss Conception  |  December 2, 2008 at 3:13 pm

    I used Letrozole in a few of my IUI cycles and my best friend actually got pregnant while taking it (it was the ONLY drug) that helped her achieve and sustain a pregnancy. From what I remember, the Letrozole doesn’t produce as many eggs as clomid does, but it helps the quality while reducing the negative effects on the lining.
    Good luck!!

  • 6. lovecomesfirst  |  December 2, 2008 at 3:47 pm

    Thank you all for the information about Letrozole! I am happy to hear that people have been pregnant as a result of it, and that the side effects weren’t as bad. I think that egg quality is definately an issue for me, as my progesterone results have all been slightly low, but I still have a regular period and an LH surge. So hopefully it will help!!

  • 7. Kate (Bee In The Bonnet)  |  December 2, 2008 at 4:26 pm

    I was exactly where you were just a few short months ago. If things go for you the way they did for me, the financial concerns will linger, but leaving your soul-sucking job will be the best thing you ever do for your sanity. Despite stupid health issues and other miscellaneous stressors, I’ve never been happier or more easy-going in my whole life. Going to school full-time has been incredibly rewarding, and such a different experience than trying to work and go to school on off hours. It made me truly love school for the first time in my life. I hope it will do the same for you. I see nothing but good stuff headed your way. Live off student loans for a while if you need to. It’s just so incredibly worth it to give yourself that peace of mind.

    I don’t know anything about letrozole, but I am hoping that you can find a combo that will work for you. And yeah, maybe the reduction in stress levels will help your body be able to work better, and be more in tune, and thus allow the drugs to work better. Not implying that relaxation is all it takes, but at the very least, it can leave you feeling more peaceful during cycles, right?

  • 8. April  |  December 3, 2008 at 8:34 am

    I used femara several times during my IUI cycles. I did produce anywhere from 1-3 dominant follicles. I didn’t really have any SEs, and my RE put me on it b/c I already had lining issues and it is supposed to have less of an impact on your lining. Listening to how people complain about clomid, i thought femara was a piece of cake 🙂

  • 9. Lea  |  December 3, 2008 at 12:40 pm

    I hope you enjoy your month off. Stress reduction is ALWAYS good! Hope that cyst gets the hint.


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After 5 IUIs, 2 IVFs, and the diagnosis of diminished ovarian reserve at the ripe old age of 29, I am now looking for information on embryo donation and adoption. I'm taking a break from blogging but will return when our path out of the world of IF becomes more clear.

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