Forward Momentum

September 16, 2008 at 3:09 pm 4 comments

Things are moving forward in First Comes Love Land. SuperHusband still has good days and bad days, but the good ones are starting to outnumber the bad ones, and he’s finding more constructive ways to deal with his sadness. He has started writing songs for an album he’s going to dedicate to his friend. They were bandmates “back in the olden days.”

I am finally settling into a routine where I don’t feel like school is sucking every last ounce of energy from my body. I am really enjoying statistics, despite a less than enjoyable teacher, and my health class isn’t too shabby either. We work out in class on Wednesdays, and inspired by Kate, I’ve decided to train for a 5k in November. So I’ve mostly been running on the indoor track. Running is not easy. But getting easier.

I’ve cashed in on that forward momentum and took my infertile-with-child-post-ivf friend’s advice and made an appointment with an RE. She was shocked to hear that after two years I was still wading around in obgyn land waiting for permission to move on to the specialists. She made some good points… after all, my insurance covers nothing so I might as well get more specialized treatment if I am shelling out the big bucks right?  I’ll be meeting with the only fertility specialist in my area in November.

Despite reading stories like this one, which make me fear childbirth a wee bit more, I am wanting to do the “child by any means necessary” thing more and more these days.  As time goes on without a pregnancy, I feel like my willingness to open my mind to the possability of the more invasive fertility treatments increases. I think the death of our friend had a lot to do with that. The idea that if anything were to happen to SuperHusband, that a piece of him would live on in his child. And that I love him too much not to try as hard as I can.

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Entry filed under: life, love.

Putting things back together I keep hope locked in a metal box in the closet…

4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Io  |  September 16, 2008 at 9:26 pm

    Ack! The birth story scares me a bit, I have to admit.

    I’m glad you’re settling into your routine – and yay statistics! I puffy heart stats to the extent that I minored in it.

    Reply
  • 2. womb for improvement  |  September 17, 2008 at 1:45 pm

    I didn’t click on the birth story, don’t wanna know! Good luck with the appointment in November.

    Reply
  • 3. Kate (Bee In The Bonnet)  |  September 19, 2008 at 3:22 pm

    I’m glad you’re settling in to school. It’s been weird for me, too, but mostly because I forget how frickin’ YOUNG 19 really is. It’s just bizarre.

    I run mostly on an indoor treadmill, but I’ll need to change that if I’m going to run a race outside. I think H and I are going to do some outside running this weekend. We’ll see. Maybe I should think about heading your direction for the November 5k. I do love that area…

    I do think more and more lately about having a child before going to law school. I don’t know. I don’t know if I have the wherewithall to deal with fighting my body, but I do think of it more and more lately. Hmm.

    Anyhow, I’m glad that there are starting to be some good days mixed in with those bad ones. It won’t ever go away, but hopefully, bit by bit, the good will replace more and more of the bad.

    Reply
  • 4. Beth  |  September 23, 2008 at 12:00 pm

    Hi. I am a lurker… this is my first comment, anywhere, ever. For the last few months, I’ve been browsing through a lot of lesbians’ TTC blogs. I thought there weren’t very many hetero, married, trying IUI people in blogland. Today, I found your blog and feel less alone. Our situations may not be the same, but I wanted to say hello and I wish you and your super-husband more than luck- I wish you both all the happiness you can handle, and a squirmy bundle of love ASAP.

    Reply

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About

After 5 IUIs, 2 IVFs, and the diagnosis of diminished ovarian reserve at the ripe old age of 29, I am now looking for information on embryo donation and adoption. I'm taking a break from blogging but will return when our path out of the world of IF becomes more clear.

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