day of much yuck

February 28, 2008 at 1:56 pm 4 comments

Woo hoo! I get to use the “woe is me” category again!

I woke up at 4am to find an intense pain in my left leg. My entire calf muscle is still as hard as a rock and gives me a great deal of discomfort when I stand and walk. This may interfere with my plans to go to the gym today, which I was really looking forward to, as exercise is the primary way I stave off crippling depression. And I really need some staving after yesterday, the day of much yuck.

One of my co-workers (and a good friend) was offered a new job yesterday. She gave her notice and will soon be free of this hell hole. We both started  looking for something new at the same time and I have yet to land a single interview. I can only hope that I have one scheduled when the day comes that she packs up her desk and leaves. I know that’s going to be a hard day for me. She’s been a great venting post for my frustrations here, and is one of the only people in my life who know what hubby and I are going through in IF land right now. I am going to miss her a lot.

A few hours after finding out that she got a job offer, I got an email birth announcement from a friend. (the first one of the pregnant four to deliver.) Their baby is gorgeous. I couldn’t stop looking at the picture. I remember when I found out that B &K were pg, and then that three more of my friends were expecting. I remember thinking that hopefully I would be pg myself by the time they started delivering all those bundles of joy. And now the day is here, and I’m not.

The two items are remarkably similar really. Two people close to me accomplished their goals with much greater ease then  I. Goals I am still struggling to accomplish.

Oh and yesterday was CD 2, and I was all crampy, so this really was adding insult to injury.

I just want to move on with my life. I want a new job with health insurance that will at least cover SOMEthing. I want to not be afraid that I will lose my job if I become pregnant. I want to begin the next chapter. This one is going on far to long and is filled with too much whining.

Jobs applied for this week = 4

Jobs I have heard anything back from = 1. (thanks for your interest, we’re scheduling interviews in March)

On a lighter and less weepy note, I have at least 5 readers and only one of you has responded to the whole truth/lie thing. Don’t let Kate win by default! You know you want some of her points!!!


Entry filed under: woe is me.

prepare your intuition winners, counters, and inappropriate emails

4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Lauren  |  February 28, 2008 at 3:58 pm

    Hi. I just found your blog through the Connections Abound site. Glad to have found your blog! I just read through your archives. I really hope you can find another job soon to get away from your mean boss. Truthfully (and I’m sure you know this) there’s no way he can fire you if you get pregnant. Maybe he’s just wanting to scare you into staying.

    Also, I’m interested in your acupuncture/Chinese medicine stuff. I’ve been thinking about that for a while, but haven’t gotten the courage to really look into it much.

  • 2. annacyclopedia  |  February 29, 2008 at 6:57 pm

    Do you take any calcium-magnesium supplements? I used to get those night leg cramps occasionally, and since I started taking cal-mag before bed, I can’t remember the last time it happened. Maybe it doesn’t fit with your TCM regimen, or maybe it’s just a freak thing that doesn’t happen that often, but just thought I’d suggest it.

    Hope your job stuff improves. I’m looking for work right now, too, and there is just about nothing in the world I loathe more. Hang in there – there will be something better out there.

  • 3. Trace  |  March 3, 2008 at 9:14 pm

    I came here from Annacyclopedia’s blog. I notice from your comment that you and your husband have MF issues. My husband and I are pursuing DI.

    You job woes sound amazingly similar. I H-A-T-E my job. I did apply to some postions, but I realized that I want a low key job close to home and I will make far less money than I currently make and sperm is pretty freaking expensive.

    I’ve too have posted on my blog about moving on to the next phase in my life (sigh). It just sucks!!!

    I hope you don’t mind if I follow your journey? My blog is password protected, but you can email me at tracyruthatyahoodotcom if you want an invite.

  • 4. kate  |  March 4, 2008 at 10:24 am

    Yeeeeesssss… Let Kate win by default…


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After 5 IUIs, 2 IVFs, and the diagnosis of diminished ovarian reserve at the ripe old age of 29, I am now looking for information on embryo donation and adoption. I'm taking a break from blogging but will return when our path out of the world of IF becomes more clear.

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